I think I’ve hit a rut. I’ve been racking my brain trying to pin point when it all began. I know when I was unemployed I had plenty of time to workout. I didn’t always want to, but I usually did. I had a cheap membership to a gym downtown. It’s only about 4 blocks from my house. I tried to give myself no excuse for not working out. I was able to walk there for a warm-up, do whatever there, then walk back for my cool down. Then…that got old. Luckily, a friend let me borrow P90X. I was doing really well with that for a while. I love the structure of the program. I love knowing what I’m going to do each day. It seemed practical enough in the beginning, but now…when I don’t have as much time, it’s not so much. I really enjoy most of the workouts, but it’s difficult to find the time to do them. I had always done them in the morning. I knew if I didn’t do it then, that anything else could come up later in the day to not allow me to get the workout in. I don’t know if I’ve just lost some discipline or what. It’s harder for me to get in bed on time, so that I can wake up in time to workout and shower before being at work by 8:30/9:00am.
I’ve also been feeling guilty about making time to workout, but yet not making my time with the Lord a priority. I don’t know why it always feels like it’s one or the other. It never seems that I can do both. It must be possible…though…right?! I hope so. I want to be strong physically and sprititually. I’m fully convinced they are connected. I just don’t know how the timing looks. I know I need a plan…that’s for sure. I think I’ve just gotten lazy and not been as disciplined.
It’s mad hard too around your birthday. It’s like all you want to do is celebrate and that usually involves food. It’s so hard for me to not over indulge. I know it’s fine for me to have ‘some’ of whatever, but I can’t have ‘some’ of everything. Food has been so difficult. I think I’ve gotten tired of all the food I’ve been eating lately. I really need to take some time to find more healthy food to try. I’ve been wanting to try spaghetti squash but just haven’t made the time. Working close to 50 hours a week has really played a toll on my health. I thought it would be a good thing to be more active, but really I just have less time to do other things. I need more hours in the day to read or watch The Walking Dead (enjoy a hobby), to do my 5K training, to experiment with healthy foods, to find a new workout routine, to read the Bible, to fellowship, etc. I just can’t seem to figure out how to do all these things in 24 hours or even in a week.
So, I write all these things to ask for help. If you have any ideas that would address any of these areas, please comment and let me know. I need all the help I can get.
Tightest dress I’ve ever worn. Down 78 lbs in this pic. I love the dress and think I look pretty good!
A friend recently joined Weight Watchers (again) and wanted to know if I had any advice to share. This was my response:
Oh yay girl! This is exciting. I remember when I started on December 31, 2012. I was ready for change but didn’t know what it would look like or how hard it would be. I joined in Hiram (near Atlanta), where my family lives and I was super nervous when I walked into the meeting. Everyone there was so comforting though. I told them I just joined and they were so supportive. One girl told me “being fat is hard, exercising and being healthy is hard…choose your hard”. That has stuck with me! Man, being overweight is like being handicapped or for me it felt that way. There were so many things I couldn’t do like everyone else. I constantly felt left out. The sad part is, nobody was really leaving me out. I just wouldn’t let myself in. So, I’m trying to get better at that. I’m trying to get better at doing things I wouldn’t normally do. I grew up saying all these things I didn’t like or would never do. The list of things I did like and would do was VERY small. I have had great people around me to open the door to amazing new foods and fun activities. Anyways, I could go on for hours…but about WW.
Why do you feel like you failed in the past with Weight Watchers? Where you on plan when they had the mobile app? I know that has been the greatest blessing to me. I can’t imagine not being able to check the points on something out at the grocery store or at a restaurant before I decide what I’m eating.
Also, I don’t know if you’re anywhere near a WW store, but I would try and find one, so that you can buy the starter kit (I think that’s what it’s called). It has silicon measuring cups, a tape measure, a workout dvd sampler, you can get a calculator (for points) with, and the greatest asset, it’s a book called “The Success Handbook”. It has honestly been one of the most instrumental parts of my weight loss. Start from the beginning. It will ask you hard questions about yourself. The way I dealt with being overweight was trying to ignore the situation and not thinking about it. This book made me think about. It made me be honest with myself about how I felt. It’s just like an Alcoholic, if you don’t recognize you have a problem, you won’t be able to move forward. We have to recognize not having control over food is a problem.
Another key to my success has been making small goals. I talked about this a little in my blog. I was not a vegetable person before WW, but I knew I had to become one. So, I would make a goal for the week to eat 1 veggie. Only 1. That was feasible for me. If I didn’t master it that week, I would keep the same goal. I would add a veggie if I had mastered it. It has become my lifestyle now to eat veggies everyday. I can tell something is off when I don’t get my intake of veggies. I would also make goals in other areas, like reading the Bible. I still struggle to have balance in my life. But, I wanted to be getting healthier physically, but also spiritually. So, I would make weekly goals about a verse to memorize or a passage to read in the Word. Again, if I didn’t achieve the goal, I would set it again for the next week. I don’t look at that as failure, but as me just trying again. This weight loss thing really is a lot about perspective. Remember, “you may slip up, but never give up!” There is always the next meal to do better. It’s all about making steps forward.
About the amt of weight you have to lose, that got me really discouraged in the beginning! The heaviest I ever got was 298 lbs. When I started WW though I had already gotten down to 277.2 lbs. So, I knew I was going to have to lose more than 100 lbs to be healthy. That can be mad overwhelming. The WW meetings really helped me with this though. They give the 5 pound stars when you lose 5 pounds, and also when you get to 5% of body weight lost, etc. They encourage you to make small goals and I would say the same for you. Make your first goal: 5 pounds. Slowly but surely, once you start losing you will begin to believe you can eventually get to your final goal. Eventually you will be at a healthy weight. Remember too “baby steps eventually add up to miles”. We have more faith in our success the more success we see. Until you get to that point though, (and really the whole time), keep your faith in Christ. Know that He wants what is best for you. He wants you to live a full and happy life. That usually involves being healthy. I don’t know if the Lord is going to bless you and I with years of life, but I believe we are to be good stewards of what we’ve been entrusted (our bodies), and the Lord will bless those efforts.
I hope some of this is helpful. Please call or text me if you ever need anything! For real, I know if I didn’t have Anna, my roommate and best friend, I probably wouldn’t have made it this far. It’s nice to have someone to talk to who understands what you’re going through. If you need someone just to listen while you vent, I’m here.
Also, idk how vocal on social media you want to be, but I know me sharing my ups and downs has pushed me to stay on track. I am held accountable by the fb and wordpress world. People are behind me to success. They want to see me be successful. It is statistically proven that if you share your goals with people you are much more likely to meet the goals. For now, maybe you can just make 2 weekly goals and share them with me. I would love to keep track of how you’re doing on your journey, and again help in anyway possible. Also, about the starter kit, if for some reason you can’t find a store in your area, I would be more than happy to send you one in the mail. My treat! I’m that convinced of it. Anyways, I love you girl and am thrilled you had the courage to ask for help and have already joined the WW family! I’m very proud of you!
I have known for a while now that it’s difficult for me to receive help from others. It’s really sad, because I LOVE to help others. It truly is a blessing to meet someone’s needs. I wonder if I like it too much. I wonder why I can’t imagine that someone would feel this same way about helping me. If I could feel this way helping others, why couldn’t someone feel the same about helping me? Why do I have such trouble with asking for help? I know I don’t want others to see me as weak. I know I don’t like being rejected. It’s like in my mind I believe it would be the worst thing ever to have someone say no. To have someone say they can’t help me. I think I’m gonna take it personally. I think I’m gonna think it’s because of me they are saying no…when in reality, it could be tons of other reasons. Maybe they have a baby that sleeps during that time, maybe they are working, maybe they already have other obligations. I think it’s also hard for me to ask because I know everyone is busy. I know someone would seriously have to go out of their way to help me. They already have so much on their plates, and to help me, would be adding more. I think I don’t want to know someone is doing that for me. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like I have done something wrong. I think I need to remind myself that if they say yes, then they are okay taking/making the time to help me. They have already counted the cost. They wouldn’t say yes, if it wasn’t possible. They are making it happen. I think I can’t be worried about that. I just have to be grateful they are wiling to help.
Why is it so hard to receive a gift? I’m cool when there is a reason for the gift, namely a birthday or Christmas, but for some reason…anytime outside of that, I feel responsible for the gift. I feel like I owe the person something. I feel like nothing is free. I feel obligated to give them something back. I know they didn’t get the gift to get something in return, but I feel this pressure…from somewhere, to return the favor. This is a problem!!! Why God?
The sad thing is, I know this directly affects my relationship with God. I know this affects how I view my salvation, for example. It’s hard for me to truly believe and live in light of this FREE, GIFT of salvation. I think I often am working for my salvation. I am striving to do good things. I am striving to not fall into sin. I feel so much pressure to always do everything right. I believe it’s because I’m trying to pay God back for this gift. I can’t seem to understand that it’s FREE. I don’t owe Him anything. Yes, He wants my love and devotion, but He didn’t give this gift, to get that love in return. His love for me is NOT conditional. It’s not like He won’t love me anymore because I haven’t prayed enough today or read the Bible. If I fall into sin, He won’t take back the gift. He still loves me, even in my sin. PERIOD. I always want to add all this spiritual jargon after that…but for real…that’s it. No matter what, God will not love me any more or less based on my actions. His love is unconditional…PERIOD. It’s pretty easy to say/type that, but to live it…that’s a whole other ball game.
So, basically, I need pray. I need you to pray that I would truly understand and functionally live as if I understand, that the gift of salvation REALLY IS FREE! I totally believe that if I start to understand this, then it will help with every other area of my life.
The funny thing… I got in a wreck. I know that doesn’t sound funny, but let me explain. I can’t drive my car because it’s leaking some fluid. The wreck happened on Saturday, which was during a three day weekend (Labor Day). I haven’t been able to take the car for estimates because no one is open, because of the holiday. So, I cried all day Saturday. I had a rush of feelings come over me. I have a great fear that stuff is going to cost so much that I won’t be able to pay for it and I’ll be broke. I always get really fearful about money. When you don’t have a lot of it, it kinda turns me, into this kind of person. It’s so hard to trust God with money. It’s hard for me to practically believe that He will provide in that area. Anyways, I was freaking out about not having enough money to fix the car. My friend gave an estimate of anywhere from $1,500 to $2,500. I looked up the Kelly Blue Book value, and it’s only $3,200 at the most. It’s probably more like $2,300 though. So I’m fearful that my insurance company will just total the car, and then I’ll have to look into getting a new one (new to me, aka used), which will completely drain my savings. Basically, I’m freaking out about the money stuff, then I realize I have 2 jobs now. I have to find a way to these 2 jobs next week. First, I need to find a ride to church. I get the courage to ask for that from my mentor, Wendy. She’s super gracious and is excited to help me. To speed up the story, Sunday is great. I got to spend time with Wendy, her daughter (Grace), and Michelle (my bestie). It was so refreshing to go out for lunch and fro yo. I had great company to take my mind off all my issues. I feel encouraged to ask for more help (with rides to/from work). I post on Facebook about the situation and that I need rides at these specific times. Within 3 minutes of posting, I had someone committed to 2 rides. Three hours later, I had every ride taken care of. People are going out of their way to help me! I know I shouldn’t be surprised by this, but I am. People I’m not even super close to….are helping me. This is crazy.
Now, I am having to fight to not OVER thank them. I am fighting to not apologize for needing help. I am going to try and be grateful for the Body of Christ actually being the Body. They are serving as Christ has commanded them. My fear is that people are only helping to eventually get something in return from me, when I over thank them or apologize, it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. They are going to start to believe they deserve something in return (even if they didn’t think that initially). It’s like I’m training people to believe they are owed something for their service. So, I will fight this week and for however long this continues, to NOT over thank people. I want to receive this grace (rides) with no strings attached. I want to practice receiving grace in real life, so that I can better understand the gift of salvation God has granted me.
To conclude the funny part… God loves me so much that He is not going to let me be deceived or fall away. God knows that I struggle to believe this truth…so God will orchestrate a wreck, where I’m in a place that I need help. The reality is that I always need help, but I don’t recognize my need until times like this (and God knows that). I am in great need. Even the sermon at church yesterday was about the importance of us realizing our need. To be honest, if we don’t recognize our need for God, we won’t fully appreciate what He has done for us. God is using this earthly situation to show me my heavenly need for Him.
I am greatly blessed!!!
This fear of being made fun of at the gym was a driving force behind me not losing weight sooner. I was fully convinced, in my mind, that people were more focused on me being fat and working out, than what they came to do at the gym. It’s crazy because really…people are NOT that interested in you (AT ALL). Because of the Lord, I have been able to move out of this fear. I no longer let this fear drive me. I have more confidence and self-esteem now and am proud of myself for getting out to the gym or park or to play games with friends. I do NOT let what others think control me. God says “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” in Galatians 1:10. I want to be focused on what God says about me, NOT what others say. I will be compelled to move because it pleases the Lord.